I feel... busy, like all my time goes away and I don't know how, because I honestly don't *do* much. I never seem to get anything done. People ask me why I haven't done this or that, and the best answer I can give is I've been busy with other things, and then they ask me what, and I don't have an answer. Not sure what I'm doing wrong, here. Whatever it is I'm doing, it doesn't seem to get anything done.
A while back, one morning, we were about to go somewhere and I glanced in the mirror to make sure I looked reasonably okay, which is about all I ever strive for, and I noted aloud that I looked tired, but otherwise okay. Ginny was standing near me and she said, 'but you usually do...' and she's right... and I can't seem to forget that. It just won't leave my head. If I mention I feel tired or sick, whoever is around me says that I'm always tired or sick, or both. I don't wanna be a fucking hypochondriac. I feel sick right now, and I know it's because I haven't been eating right lately, but I *was*. I had quit coffee, cut way back on soda, trying to eat 3 healthy meals a day with lots of vegetables and some protein and get enough excercise and I feel like fucking crap half the time.
And I can't see a doctor because I've got no health insurance and between the tickets to Bellingham and the usual living expenses I'm pretty broke right now.
I'm just ranting today... pay no attention to the monkey.
I need to get the car thing straight, and then I can get a decent job, maybe apply at Kinko's after vacation.
And kill the neighbors. Need to kill the neighbors and their damn stereo that only plays three different songs, all of them very loud, and all of them with very annoying, repetitive beats. I especially hate that one that sounds like a bad polka.
Going now... need to eat something today.
A while back, one morning, we were about to go somewhere and I glanced in the mirror to make sure I looked reasonably okay, which is about all I ever strive for, and I noted aloud that I looked tired, but otherwise okay. Ginny was standing near me and she said, 'but you usually do...' and she's right... and I can't seem to forget that. It just won't leave my head. If I mention I feel tired or sick, whoever is around me says that I'm always tired or sick, or both. I don't wanna be a fucking hypochondriac. I feel sick right now, and I know it's because I haven't been eating right lately, but I *was*. I had quit coffee, cut way back on soda, trying to eat 3 healthy meals a day with lots of vegetables and some protein and get enough excercise and I feel like fucking crap half the time.
And I can't see a doctor because I've got no health insurance and between the tickets to Bellingham and the usual living expenses I'm pretty broke right now.
I'm just ranting today... pay no attention to the monkey.
I need to get the car thing straight, and then I can get a decent job, maybe apply at Kinko's after vacation.
And kill the neighbors. Need to kill the neighbors and their damn stereo that only plays three different songs, all of them very loud, and all of them with very annoying, repetitive beats. I especially hate that one that sounds like a bad polka.
Going now... need to eat something today.
no subject
Date: Jul. 11th, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC)Anyway, I've got a lot of little anomalies like that, and I've had them since I was a chiddler, my old doctor knew all about them and investigated them and none of them seemed to actually do me any harm, they were just weird oddities about my body.
Unless my thyroid is messed up again, that happened once but it was the damn drugs that did it in the first place, and after they took me off 'em it straightened itself out in the course of about a year. I had too many drugs as a kid, I try to avoid them these days. I don't trust doctors anymore. They want to give you pills for everything.
no subject
Date: Jul. 11th, 2005 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Jul. 11th, 2005 08:06 pm (UTC)Asshats.
They took me off prozac and put me on synthroid for a while, but my thyroid basically fixed itself, which it probably wouldn't have done if it were some other reason for it going wrong in the first place.
I don't like doctors.
no subject
Date: Jul. 11th, 2005 08:12 pm (UTC)(Maybe I should logout of Butterworm HAHAHA :P I *forgot* I had an OOC icon too heehee)