Mmuh.

[reymonkey]

I feel... busy, like all my time goes away and I don't know how, because I honestly don't *do* much. I never seem to get anything done. People ask me why I haven't done this or that, and the best answer I can give is I've been busy with other things, and then they ask me what, and I don't have an answer. Not sure what I'm doing wrong, here. Whatever it is I'm doing, it doesn't seem to get anything done.

A while back, one morning, we were about to go somewhere and I glanced in the mirror to make sure I looked reasonably okay, which is about all I ever strive for, and I noted aloud that I looked tired, but otherwise okay. Ginny was standing near me and she said, 'but you usually do...' and she's right... and I can't seem to forget that. It just won't leave my head. If I mention I feel tired or sick, whoever is around me says that I'm always tired or sick, or both. I don't wanna be a fucking hypochondriac. I feel sick right now, and I know it's because I haven't been eating right lately, but I *was*. I had quit coffee, cut way back on soda, trying to eat 3 healthy meals a day with lots of vegetables and some protein and get enough excercise and I feel like fucking crap half the time.
And I can't see a doctor because I've got no health insurance and between the tickets to Bellingham and the usual living expenses I'm pretty broke right now.
I'm just ranting today... pay no attention to the monkey.

I need to get the car thing straight, and then I can get a decent job, maybe apply at Kinko's after vacation.
And kill the neighbors. Need to kill the neighbors and their damn stereo that only plays three different songs, all of them very loud, and all of them with very annoying, repetitive beats. I especially hate that one that sounds like a bad polka.

Going now... need to eat something today.

Comments

[justdbear.livejournal.com]

It may sound stupid to say, Rey, but when you do get a better job, I bet you will feel better. At my last job (which I HATED) I was so stressed all the time about what would come at me next (no consistancy there at all) that I was sick a lot, and I felt like a hypochondriac too, I was always having allergy attacks, athsma attacks, Migraines (I serious do get Migraines that put me out for at least a day), and I missed a lot of work. Since I have been at this job (that I like most of the time save for the clients) I haven't missed a day, and I have only had a few headaches. I think sometimes when you feel like you lack direction or things aren't going so well as far as the way you want them to, it can get very tough to stay healthy because your body doesn't like it either. I think eating right is a very good start, Robyn doesn't eat well and she gets sick and depressed when she doesn't but when she starts eating, chicken and salads and stuff (she won't eat much more than that as she is a total healthnut and gymrat) she feels a lot better...she fights an eating disorder though so it's hard for her to eat well.

WHOA off the subject there. Anyways, I really do think if you get a job where you are appreciated and treated decently that you would feel better all around...plus being in a healthy working environment can do wonders. And for the record, I look tired a lot too, you can't tell in my smile, but you can tell in my eyes and the bags I am developing, but that's because I am nearing the ancient stage of my life heehee.

*HUGS* I hope you feel better today. :)

[reymonkey.livejournal.com]

Don't tell me you're ancient, you're only a year older than me. Bet I've got more grey hairs than you.
Mebbe it's the job... mebbe I'm just angsty and I need a kick n the ass. I don't miss work days unless I'm puking my guts out, because we're permanantly understaffed, so I go to work sick and despereately hope to pass it on to the boss. Then *he* might stay hom, but that's okay because his employers are happier that way.
I've never had an eating disorder, unless you count college. I forget to eat, I get busy and shit, I don't *think* that counts as an eating disorder. At least I don't live on coffee like I used to. I've finally given up on my caffiene cutback though, because it didn't seem to do me any good.
I like Gabe's answer, but cigars are nasty. They taste like wet paper bags. I took a puff off one Mike had once. Can I take up candy cigars instead? Mmmm... sugar rush.

I'm having more time wasting right now, because I have other things I'd like to be doing, but I'm supposed to wait for this chick I do graphics work for to call so we can run up to Kinko's and run off more postcards. Hurry up and wait. It's not her fault, it's just a bad mesh of schedules, but it's still frustrating.

[butterworm.livejournal.com]

>:) I'm posting under this jerk's account. Actually you are 6 months younger than me. I don't have any grey hairs yet...but I dye my hair so who knows what color it really is (actually I do know and it reflects silver does that count? heehee).

I think it's work. Cigars are gross gross. Candy cigars are hard to find but well worth the search. I DARE you to go to a cigar bar with a box of candy cigars ROFLOL! That would make your day better.

*HUGS* I feel for you Rey, I really do. Dead end jobs SUCK.

Sugar highs won't help though because they are not steady and they wear off quickly and can mess your moods up more. If I can help let me know, as it is I will cheer you on!!! HORRAY FOR REY! ^_^

[reymonkey.livejournal.com]

What's a cigar bar?
I have a whole streak developing of grey hair, and I'm really worrying what my mother is going to say when she sees it. It wasn't there the last time she saw me.

*Tickles Butterworm because he's not that scary.*

[butterworm.livejournal.com]

He is TOO scary! *pouts* LOL.

Cigar Bar? You don't have those there? They have them here. Men and women (mainly business people) go to the bar for mixed drinks and cigars...hence cigar bar. They have a lot of meetings there and sell different types of cigars and such...It's like a bar and grill but it's a Bar and cigar instead. LOL!

[reymonkey.livejournal.com]

Oh, that must be for ritzy, bourgeouis peoples. I'm not one of those. Although when we went to Shenandoah, Ginny's parents had martinis and red wine in the winnebago, so they might count.
What a bunch of freaks.

[butterworm.livejournal.com]

Freaks. Indeed. Cigar bars are not my thing cause I cannot breathe in them.

[reymonkey.livejournal.com]

Martinis and Winnebagoes(sp?) are not my thing.

[butterworm.livejournal.com]

As in motor homes? My family has one, It's a slideout HUGE 36' long one and looks like a hotel room inside. Those types aren't bad...Martinis are gross in any environment.

[reymonkey.livejournal.com]

It belongs to Ginny's parent's neighbors, but we all went up to Shenandoah in it. They seemed to think it was fun to sit in it and look at the deer outside.
That would be why Ginny and Shad went for lots of hikes with nobody else...