reymonkey | (no subject)

I don't really want to make this post, but I feel like I should. Yesterday afternoon a vet came to our house, and put Squeaks down. It was very quick.
I'm currently mostly okay during the day, while I'm up and doing things and keeping busy. Been very productive art-wise, able to function and all that. Then I tried to lay down to sleep last night and I'd gotten so used to her tucking herself up under my chin and half under the blankets... all night we'd stay like that. She got bloody snot on my arms and the blanket. I literally cannot lay down to sleep without crying. I finally got to sleep after 6AM, last night/this morning. Not sure tonight will be any better.

Right now, mostly, I just don't want to talk about it. I appreciate hugs and sympathy but I don't want anybody to feel like I'm brushing them off or something if my response is just a 'thanks'. Maybe in a few more days I'll feel like talking. I probably will be around RPing some, intermittently, and drawing. Keeping busy is good. May post art soon, and idly thinking of joining Tumblr just because I need another social media like I need a kick in the shins, but it seems to be the happening place and good for posting art. Anyways. I'm around. I appreciate how supportive people have been. I'm sorry if I'm not so good at responding to it right now.

Will make a nice video/photo thing for her when I can do it without breaking down, but for now this is the best pic I could find already up from before we knew what was wrong. It's there, but her face still looks like hers instead of how it looked at the end.