Beware the uncaffienated monkey
Dec. 16th, 2007 08:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
reymonkeyMy apologies to all our friends, nobody in this house has been online much at all lately. Checking eml seems like a chore I barely have time for. There will be internet access from my parent's house, you can be sure of that (My dad is the one who taught me how to build computers...), but of course we'll be busy there, too. If I don't get to posting again before we leave, happy holidays to everyone!
On a less pleasant note, I started this morning with a dream that my father was dead. We got out to B'ham and I was talking to the guy my mother had remarried (wtf??), who was nice enough but way younger. I asked him and he said he was forty for chrissakes, which is too young to be my father even in theory. It suddenly struck me that because I had missed the funeral and only heard of my father's death and all over the phone, it hadn't truly registered. We had bought all these gifts (my mind was going over the real ones) for Christmas for a man who was dead. I ended up sobbing as his death hit home, and after I woke up it took me a few mintues to reassure myself that part of the dream was untrue. It woke Bridgie up by accident, and we cuddled a little and I think I made her squishy too.
Our parents are not old at all, I think between us the oldest parent is about sixty-five. For anyone young enough to not understand who might read this, sixty-five is not old. Eighty is getting up there, Ninety is admirable, sixty-five is time to take retirement and start on a second career. On the other hand, Bridgie's mother having a stroke is upsetting on deeper levels. Someday, sooner or later, we are going to lose our parents. One by one. We can only hold each other through it. It's just life, I know it is, but it's one of those shocks of life you come to along the way and I guess you can never really be prepared for it.
We're both incredibly lucky, Bridgie and I. We get along with our parents, we can visit them, they've stayed together and show no signs of ever getting separated. They're all still alive. I know I'm just stressed, between visiting my parents, and Bridgie's mother still recovering, and... yeah. I'm trying to be glad for what we have. I offered to cancel the whole trip, because I'd understand if Bridgie wanted to be here, but there's really nothing we could do and she says getting out of town for a few days feels like a good idea.
In other, calming things, still chipping away at the to-do list before we go. Today is a last chance at laundry, and we're going to be baking cookies with Bridgie's mother. Hopefully she'll be feeling better. The last time I saw her I wasn't sure how much to attribute to the stroke and how much to a major nic fit, because the doctors are making her quit smoking as abruptly as possible. It's harsh but ultimately a very good thing.
Also on the list, I need to finish Xmas cards, which I am being an insane monkey about this year. I don't think I've really seriously bothered past the first year I moved away, but now, fearing my mother's disapproval, I am hand painting cards and making a list of friends and family to send them to. Especially family. Because she'll know. They're going to be late, and I'm going to go insane with the stress.
Oh yeah, also on the list is to bind the quilt I still haven't gotten back from the longarm quilter (you've got three days guys!!!), wipe and reload my mp3 player so that my father won't know it's glitchy, clean house because we're supposed to get a freaking eliptical machine, and art for Ichigo from DM. Ahahahaha. And I am working full days Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I have mostly off only because I got someone else to take my shift. We get on the plane Thursday morning.
I should probably pack, too.
On a less pleasant note, I started this morning with a dream that my father was dead. We got out to B'ham and I was talking to the guy my mother had remarried (wtf??), who was nice enough but way younger. I asked him and he said he was forty for chrissakes, which is too young to be my father even in theory. It suddenly struck me that because I had missed the funeral and only heard of my father's death and all over the phone, it hadn't truly registered. We had bought all these gifts (my mind was going over the real ones) for Christmas for a man who was dead. I ended up sobbing as his death hit home, and after I woke up it took me a few mintues to reassure myself that part of the dream was untrue. It woke Bridgie up by accident, and we cuddled a little and I think I made her squishy too.
Our parents are not old at all, I think between us the oldest parent is about sixty-five. For anyone young enough to not understand who might read this, sixty-five is not old. Eighty is getting up there, Ninety is admirable, sixty-five is time to take retirement and start on a second career. On the other hand, Bridgie's mother having a stroke is upsetting on deeper levels. Someday, sooner or later, we are going to lose our parents. One by one. We can only hold each other through it. It's just life, I know it is, but it's one of those shocks of life you come to along the way and I guess you can never really be prepared for it.
We're both incredibly lucky, Bridgie and I. We get along with our parents, we can visit them, they've stayed together and show no signs of ever getting separated. They're all still alive. I know I'm just stressed, between visiting my parents, and Bridgie's mother still recovering, and... yeah. I'm trying to be glad for what we have. I offered to cancel the whole trip, because I'd understand if Bridgie wanted to be here, but there's really nothing we could do and she says getting out of town for a few days feels like a good idea.
In other, calming things, still chipping away at the to-do list before we go. Today is a last chance at laundry, and we're going to be baking cookies with Bridgie's mother. Hopefully she'll be feeling better. The last time I saw her I wasn't sure how much to attribute to the stroke and how much to a major nic fit, because the doctors are making her quit smoking as abruptly as possible. It's harsh but ultimately a very good thing.
Also on the list, I need to finish Xmas cards, which I am being an insane monkey about this year. I don't think I've really seriously bothered past the first year I moved away, but now, fearing my mother's disapproval, I am hand painting cards and making a list of friends and family to send them to. Especially family. Because she'll know. They're going to be late, and I'm going to go insane with the stress.
Oh yeah, also on the list is to bind the quilt I still haven't gotten back from the longarm quilter (you've got three days guys!!!), wipe and reload my mp3 player so that my father won't know it's glitchy, clean house because we're supposed to get a freaking eliptical machine, and art for Ichigo from DM. Ahahahaha. And I am working full days Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I have mostly off only because I got someone else to take my shift. We get on the plane Thursday morning.
I should probably pack, too.
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no subject
Date: Dec. 16th, 2007 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: Dec. 20th, 2007 01:01 am (UTC)Yeah... I'm not coherent enough to formulate a worthy reply to this. Just... thank you so much for being the wonderful supportive person you are.