(no subject)

I love my job, I do. But I have to remind myself of this now because I’m just so tired and burned out and I think I may have depression swinging up at me again. It’s another Saturday I find out at the last minute I have to work, and I did not know I was signing on for a six-day workweek and it’s been two years without a vacation and I can’t even manage a damn sick day when I need it (I have taken exactly ONE, because I was puking my guts up). I don’t want to be burned out at my job, because I like what I do and the people I work with/for.

Also gender dysphoria getting progressively worse and I don’t have the means to do anything about it right now. Just… I need a break. Have not been able to focus on anything this week, not even the fun things I normally want to do. I get home from work and I just want to cease to exist for a while, so I stare at DA or whatever a while, which is the next best thing and more acceptable than curling into a ball and crying.

Just two days in a row of not having to go anywhere or do anything would help. Two full days. Maybe three?