Cap'n Scarlet, she whose scarf be dyed in the blood of a thousand men says...

Ahar there mateys, first off I’ll be saying a hearty toast to me mate dragonwhishes, who be celebrating that she's a year closer to being a fine wench of marriageable age. One more year boys, and ye can start asking about the dowry. I've drawn ye a fine cartoon in celebration so don't be saying I never gave ye nothing. The rest o' ye can see but let me be saying this first: there be some tales, told down in the bunks when the sea is flat and strange and men get the shiver in their bones, some tales so weird and wild ye'd best not be hearing 'em in the proper light of a normal day, or in the words of ye modernfolk, 'don't ask'. Iff'n ye can't stand the wond'ring, ye'll 'ave to ask the birthday girl for the story. Happy birthday me girl, and I hopes ye be getting lots of loot.

Me boat still be in drydock for repairs, and a pretty penny it be costing indeed. Another two-hundred pieces and I could be having me a new boat, but this one's been a friend to us for many a long year. I'll be glad when we can break the bottle and put it back to the asphalt sea. I won't be resting easy until I'm behind the wheel of it again.

Should any landlubbers be coming across these words and be left scratching their 'eads, I pity 'em for not knowing what today is.