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[personal profile] reymonkey
I am thirty-five years old, employed and living independently many states away, which apart from the age has been true for over thirteen years now. I should not still be so deeply bothered by half the interactions I have with my parents, and yet…

Last fall they talked about coming out to visit me, which is something they have only done exactly once, and they kept cutting their trip shorter and shorter until they ended up staying only a day and a half. I have been out to visit them at least five times since I moved away. This fall, they talked about coming out to visit me this spring, see our new place, meet our roommates, maybe spend more than a single day getting to see stuff out here. I was even trying to plan out how to discuss the transgender thing to them, away from the other relatives that I expect my mother will ask me to hide it from.

Yesterday I asked if they’d had any more thought about their travel plans. Today I got an email back of ‘oh we’re not sure maybe you could take time off work and come visit us. Oh, and I guess if she can afford to pay her own way, your girlfriend of thirteen plus years could come too.’

I want to punch something. And maybe never speak to them. If they can’t come to terms with my significant other of over a decade, how the hell will they deal with me wanting to be a boy? How the hell do they even deal with me as a person? I feel stifled in who I am whenever I’m around them, and they wonder why I left home within a month of graduating college. Just… I’m an adult. I shouldn’t have these issues, right? I shouldn’t care what they think. Although the gall of asking me take time off work to see them when they’re retired and first offered to visit me galls, too. All my life they’ve had a history of offering things and then pulling that away at the last minute. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Sorry mom and dad, I was offering to share myself and my life with you, but you don’t seem to be all that interested anyway. It’s nice to know you feel that way even after I’ve made lots of efforts to share yours.


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March 2017


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